Lust and Love : Disclaimer in Description

In my mind, there are two feelings in relationships. Lust and love. These two are very different, and because of that you cannot have both at the same time in my mind. I have desires no one knows about, forbid if they did, I can’t imagine what it would do to them. But, regarding those thoughts, I also have needs. In every person’s madness, there is reasoning.

Even if you’re a serial killer.

Love is the feeling you get when you care about someone, badly. The desire to keep them happy and make that smile appear upon their faces is never ending. Complimenting them, giving them gifts, showing them you care repeatedly on a daily basis shows that you love them, romantically or relative by blood.

When I love someone, I get protective or I get scared I will harm them with my thoughts. I fear that by them committing to me, in a relationship, means that I will humiliate them in front of others with my confusing humor and loudest mouth in the universe. There is either fear or judgement for them that either fogs my mind or blinds it completely.

But love isn’t always like this. When I am in love, crushing on someone, my mind goes into a happy place which is their personality, their smile, their humor, everything that I admire about them always comes to mind. I put them before myself in everything, whether that be decision making or the door I hold open for them to walk on through.

Lust, is completely different from love. You are hot, but your body is as cold as ice and your temper is very thin. Lust, is more for sexual pleasure, than love is. That strong desire to know the ups and downs- the limits in fantasies of a sex life you desire. You do things with people, you’d never do in front of someone you love. Because, you just can’t bear to treat them like you would a one night stand. In lust, you talk rather dirty, having phone sex, whispering, or moaning.

That desire is what keeps you and your lust partner alive, in the moment. In the heat of it all you feel on fire. But in a sense, you truly aren’t at all. After, you will or eventually feel unsatisfied. You’ve put yourself in a situation that doesn’t make sense to your heart, but it does to your hormones. Sure, you produce a lot more dopamine, but that doesn’t last forever. Especially when that one night stand you planned, turns into a week, a month, and perhaps if you’re unhealthy like me, a year.

Eventually, you’ll hurt yourself so much by lust, you’ll become numb to feeling what being loved is like, and when you do feel it again, it can and most likely will be lost again. When you have a one night stand, you’re so tired of trying to find someone, so you sacrifice your body and your hormones just to try and feel like someone cares. It sucks when you realize that the feelings were never there.



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